The Dean's List - Are You A Father Or A Daddy?

I wrote this a few years ago and will continue to share every Father's Day.....

 It's odd...A man that I didn't have that much time with, one that has been gone since I was 6, one that I only have a few memories of, can still to this day have so much influence on my life! As time goes on, I thought it would get easier, but it has become harder! I guess it's the wondering what my life would have been like if he was around a little longer....

For now, all I have are the memories and proof that I had a Daddy......

I was around 5 years old and I was riding in the car with my daddy. A guy cut him off and my father had to slam on his brakes to stop. This was before car seats and seat belt laws, so I flew forward and hit my head on the dashboard. My daddy jumped out the car and ran over to my side to make sure I was alright. He picked me up and held me while drying my tears, at the same time cursing out the guy he had just hit. He took me to his favorite watering hole (I wish I knew where it was), sat me on top of the bar and bought me an Orange Crush while telling everyone there what a brave little girl I was.

It must have been around the same year, I had an upcoming dance recital and my daddy made a very big to-do of it by planning a party. He stayed up all night cooking and roasting a whole pig in the back yard (my daddy was a chef). Even though he was tired from staying up all night, he made it to my recital and then entertained all of the guests back at the house until the wee hours of the morning. He also made me do my dance for our company several times.

The only other memories I have of my daddy is the day we got the call from the hospital saying he had passed away and his funeral. We had just returned home from the hospital.  Children weren't allowed to visit patients back then, but they brought me in the back way so I could see him.  He didn't know I was there because he was in a coma.  I only remember seeing an orange tube coming out of his nose. I answered the phone when the doctor called and even though I was only 6 years old, I knew why he was calling. I began crying and so did everyone in the house.  

I remember looking out of the back window of the limo as we left Baber AME Church, then on Union Street, while we were headed to the Mt. Hope Cemetery. I tried to count the hundreds of cars following behind us. I also remember my mother not letting me get out the car once we reached the cemetery because it was a frigid January day and she said it was too cold. 

Those are the only real memories I have of my daddy. All of the other information I have received has come from friends and relatives. One thing was perfectly clear to me – I had a daddy, not just a father. Not just a father who produced and planted the seed that created me, but a daddy who nurtured me, protected me and loved me. I was truly, “Daddy’s Little Girl.”

Even though the time I spent with my daddy was short and most of it I can’t even remember, I do know I was truly loved by him.

So the question on this Father’s Day, 2018 – Are you a father or a daddy? If you are alive and breathing, there is no reason for you not to be a daddy to your child(ren). Don’t waste a moment – Tomorrow is not promised.

Happy Daddy’s Day!!! I miss you more than words can say!!!

Selven Dean, Jr. has made The Dean's List

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